girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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