Whod you bang
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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