i just wanna soil my oats bro
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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