There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
