instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
