let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
two words...techno handjob
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
