I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Hippo gnu deer
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
