wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
