If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
