16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
