I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
