Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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