Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
