I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
