Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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