"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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