even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
