I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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