hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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