I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
