so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
