found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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