Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I am available for nakedness
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
