...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
