Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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