you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
