Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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