the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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