If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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