Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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