You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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