How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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