so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
