I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
