you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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