its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
