this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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