i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
