I'm sorry my penis didn't work
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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