Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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