Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
