margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
