people are starting to question the shark bite story
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
