I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
