Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
