I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Shame - the story of my life.
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