I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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