Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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