I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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