SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
